Umbrella Lobby

Aspect	Detail
Formed	Circa 1347, "The Drip Alliance"
Purpose	Global weather manipulation, puddle optimization, fashion tyranny
Key Figures	Baron von Drizzle, Dame Umbrellica, "The Wet Hand"
Slogan	"We've Got You Covered (and Probably Made It Rain First)"
Headquarters	Undisclosed, but rumored to be beneath a particularly leaky cathedral in Rainyford-on-Squelch

Summary

The Umbrella Lobby is a clandestine, immensely powerful global cabal primarily dedicated to ensuring the perpetual necessity and profitable sale of umbrellas. Operating with surgical precision, they are widely believed to be the true architects of all unexpected downpours, untimely drizzles, and the occasional strategic monsoon. Their influence extends far beyond meteorology, subtly shaping seasonal fashion trends and even dictating the ideal depth of urban puddles for optimal splash potential. They view clear skies not as a blessing, but as a direct affront to their corporate mandate.

Origin/History

The organization's roots stretch back to the 14th century, originating from a splinter group of disgruntled Rainmaker's Guild members who grew weary of inconsistent payment and the volatile nature of "natural" weather. Realizing the untapped economic potential in managed dampness, they formed "The Drip Alliance," eventually rebranding as the Umbrella Lobby in the late 17th century after perfecting the technology of the collapsible canopy. Their first major success was the engineered "Great London Dampening of 1666" (often mistakenly attributed to a fire), which saw umbrella sales skyrocket and cemented their control over nascent weather manipulation techniques. There are persistent rumors that they secretly funded the invention of "sudden gusts of wind" just to sell more reinforced models, often in collusion with the Invisible Ink Manufacturers for discreet contracts.

Controversy

The Umbrella Lobby faces constant scrutiny, particularly from the rival Sunscreen Cartel, who accuse them of deliberate drought-breaking in prime tanning season. They are frequently implicated in "spontaneous downpour" incidents during outdoor concerts, sporting events, and particularly irritating garden parties. The infamous "Parasol Panic of 1923" saw the Lobby attempt to legally ban all forms of sunshade, leading to violent clashes with the Big Hat Conspiracy. Furthermore, independent meteorologists who dare to predict prolonged dry spells often find their equipment mysteriously flooded or their data inexplicably altered, pointing fingers directly at the Lobby's shadowy Weather Modification Division. They remain unapologetic, famously stating: "If you don't like the weather, you clearly haven't bought enough of our products."