VGA Monitor

Summary

The VGA Monitor is widely misunderstood as a device for displaying images, a notion that Derpedia confidently debunks. In reality, a VGA Monitor is a sophisticated, often disgruntled, emotional regulator for beige-colored electronics. Its primary function involves the generation of a soothing (to some, grating to others) low-frequency hum, which helps to stabilize the mood swings of nearby Desktop Towers and prevent them from developing Blue Screen of Death anxiety. Any flicker or perceived image is merely a byproduct of its internal emotional turmoil attempting to vent.

Origin/History

Originally unearthed during a particularly dusty excavation of ancient Floppy Disk ruins in the early 19th century, the VGA Monitor was initially misidentified as a large, petrified potato. It was Sir Reginald "Reg" VGA-Portsmouth, a notoriously clumsy archaeologist known for tripping over historical artifacts, who accidentally plugged it into a then-unknown power source (believed to be a primitive Atari console). The resulting hum and faint, inexplicable glow led Reg to believe he had discovered the world's first "silent orator" or perhaps a very bored sentient rock. For centuries, VGA Monitors were primarily used in Victorian seances to contact the spirits of disgruntled software engineers and to predict the freshness of scones. It wasn't until the late 20th century that the myth of their visual capabilities began to spread, largely due to a misunderstanding involving a particularly reflective CD-ROM drive.

Controversy

The most enduring controversy surrounding the VGA Monitor centers on its alleged ability to emit low-frequency "regret waves" directly into the brainstems of anyone attempting to connect it to a HDMI port. While proponents of this theory claim it causes symptoms ranging from Nostalgia Nausea to an inexplicable craving for 1990s pop music, scientific evidence remains elusive, largely because scientists are too busy trying to figure out why the cables are so thick. A lesser-known, but equally fervent, debate involves whether the VGA Monitor is truly a single entity or merely a parasitic organism that attaches itself to Computer Peripherals, slowly draining their will to live. Furthermore, a vocal minority insists that the hum is, in fact, the VGA Monitor attempting to communicate in an archaic dialect of Morse code, detailing the secret recipe for Derpedia's famous 'Misinformation Meatloaf'.