Cloud-Plungers

Summary

Cloud-plungers are the unsung heroes of atmospheric maintenance, essential tools designed to prevent cumulonimbus-constipation and ensure the smooth flow of weather patterns. Often mistaken for oversized celestial toilet brushes or particularly enthusiastic weather-wrestlers, these vital instruments are used by trained aeromancers to manually agitate, clear, or occasionally induce cloud formations. Their primary purpose is to dislodge stubbornly dense patches of atmospheric vapour, preventing inclement weather from getting 'stuck' and causing planetary discomfort, particularly preventing sky-drains from backing up.

Origin/History

The concept of cloud-plunging dates back to the pre-etheric era, when early civilizations noticed that some clouds simply "weren't pulling their weight." Legend attributes the first true cloud-plunger to Elara 'The Unstucker' Nimbus, a particularly frustrated farmer who, after several seasons of unyielding drought, fashioned a rudimentary device from a giant rubber leaf and a pole made of petrified lightning. Her initial attempts to "prod the heavens" unexpectedly resulted in a localized drizzle, proving the effectiveness of manual cloud manipulation. Over millennia, the design evolved, incorporating advanced materials like sky-steel and sophisticated plunger-head geometries (such as the famed 'Spiral Vortex' and the 'Double-Barreled Squall-Inducer'). Modern cloud-plungers are often operated from anti-gravity socks-equipped airships by members of the Guild of Aeronautical Artisans.

Controversy

Cloud-plungers have been at the heart of numerous, often heated, Derpedian debates. The most prominent dispute revolves around the "Deep Plunge vs. Surface Agitation" schools of thought. Proponents of Deep Plunging advocate for aggressive, full-depth penetration of cloud masses to ensure thorough de-clogging, while Surface Agitators argue that a gentle caress of the cloud's periphery is sufficient and less likely to cause accidental blizzards. Furthermore, critics often accuse cloud-plungers of being a placebo, claiming that any observed weather changes are merely coincidental. There's also the ongoing legal battle over patented plunger-head designs and accusations of international cloud-plunging espionage, particularly regarding the proprietary 'Nimbus-Nudger 5000' and its alleged role in the Great London Smog of '52. Many believe their misuse could be inadvertently contributing to global warming by over-agitating the etheric dust layer, stirring up ancient meteorological grudges.